A wannabe 'Aristo' sights a fine, young lady treading down

the street. Slowly, he rides alongside her, winds down a car window, and calls out to her...
Aristo: Bebb, wot up!?
Young Lady: I'm fine, Sir.
Aristo: Nne, idikwa sezy o.
Young Lady: Thank you. (Drily)
Aristo: So...you live arand di labourhood?
Young Lady: Sir, I really can't tell you that.
Aristo: Kimon! Drop this "Sir, Sir" that ya calling somebody. Afa m bu Justus! See, nwa, I can tek good caring of you.
Young Lady: Sir, I mean, Justus, I'm running behind time. I need to be in school before 10:00 AM.
Justus: (smiles) Let me drop you dia nau! Chai! Just look at how ya body is doing torim-torim like fresh fish own. Nne, bikonu, allow me to be ya sponsor. Eh, ákwá nwa?
Young Lady: Justus, I don't need your sponsorship. I have able parents. (Rolls eyes)
Justus: (laughs) Ebble Perrence that can only buy you jeans that haff wash color, and bend dan selett tops?
Young Lady: Don't you dare insult my parents or my dress sense!
Justus: (scoffs) Lee anya, nwa oma, I can mek ya life brown new. Gusshi, Fersashi, Pendi, Dolshi and Jabbana is what you will be wearing to that ya school. Not all this ya bend dan selett. Wit me, you will be di talk of di whole tann!
Young Lady: (laughs) Bye, Justus.
Justus: You tink I am playing, okwia? (Ransacks pockets) Oya, wet! Tek this Five Taazan, first. (Stretches hand through rolled down car window)
Young Lady: (shocked) Oh. Em. Gee!! Like seriously!? (Receives money with both hands)
Justus: You tink I coming hia to play? Enter motor, let me drop you off to ya school, biko. (Opens car door)
Young Lady: (hurriedly hops in and bangs door shut) Thank you so much, Sir, I mean, Justus.
Justus: (winds up and wheels ahead) You know you haff not even tell me ya nem o. Eh, bebby nayoka. (Smiles)
Young Lady: (blushing) I'm Cherish.
Justus: Ah! Such a nice nem! So, I can calling you "Cherry Koko?"
Cherish: (coyly) Y-yes, if you want to.
Justus: Nwa, ya just madding me! Ya just... (Car starts to slow down)
Cherish: (wears disturbed look) Is something wrong with the car?
Justus: (examines fuel indicator) Kai! Is like my fuel is finishing o. Let me just rush in hia and buy fuel. Thank God dia is filling station arand sef. (Drives into filling station and joins queue)
Cherish: I hope this won't delay me o.
Justus: Why? In few millites, fiam! we're out of hia. But, erm...bebb, I will be needing that erm...Five Taazan I gave you. Is like I didn't came out wit any more money o. (Scratches head)
Cherish: They have P.O.S machines, you can use your ATM card, then.
Justus: (keeps scratching head) Erm...Cherry Koko, I driver for Uber. And that money na my fuel money. (Low tone)
Cherish: Wait, what!? (Hisses and opens car door to leave)
Justus: Bebby, wet nau. Is not like that. Ejikwa m ego o. I will spoil you with money o.
Cherish: Ekwensu mikwaa gi onu ebe ahu! May the Devil French-kiss you there! (Bangs car door and scurries away)
Justus: Mbanu, Bebby, wet! Wet kwanu! Cherry Koko!! Cherry Koko!!! (Shouting)
Pump Attendant & Car Owner behind him: OGA, MOVE. YOUR. CAR!!

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